Exactly one week ago, someone did something that angered me. It was a complete misunderstanding on her part. I immediately realized that her actions bothered me. I hadn't been angry in a very long time. I don't know the last time. It was a new, foreign feeling that I didn't like at all. I prayed and prayed. I listened to gospel music for three hours straight. After those three hours I felt better. I spent that entire day in thought...
Finally the Lord took it away from me and I was and am thankful. For the first time in years, I realized that being mad is a great burden. I no longer have the space for it. I thought back to the days of having high blood pressure. I worked so hard to get that under control. Getting upset a week ago made me remember what the high blood pressure headaches felt like. I am just so thankful in this moment. I have grown so much. Letting go and letting God isn't the easiest thing but it is the best thing. Now, I start my day with my gospel playlist. The trap music is certainly up next but I've realized the importance of setting my day up. As I am typing this, Fred Hammond is singing "I'm Reminded" and I too, am reminded.
It's funny how I learned about this song. Years ago, I was teaching alternative school in Macon. The baddies. I always had a love for the so called bad students. They have always been my favorite so I have always found myself working with the students who are "hard to deal with." One day, we were eating lunch in the classroom and I would turn on music during lunch. I had one student sitting near me because he was easily distracted. He loved to fight and he loved to talk but when I kept him away from others, he was the perfect student so I moved his assigned seat near my desk. During lunch, I let them talk quietly while they ate. I was eating and playing music and the student asked if he could play a song. Traditionally, that could go very left but I decided to let him. Not only did he play "I'm Reminded" he also had a worship service lol. After that went off, the next student had a gospel request lol. I'm sure it was against school rules but we had a little church that day. It's beyond amazing what some gospel music will do to your mood and environment. I am just thankful. I feel such a shift within. I am so thankful for being able to just be quiet and not respond to ignorance. I want no parts of it. This grace has grown and I am so thankful for that. 2020 has been rough but it has also been good. "I won't go back" by William McDowell is playing and that lil part that says "there's nothing to go back to" gets me every.single.time! I believe it and I receive it. I pray that everyone reading this has a productive, safe, blessed day, week, year, and life!
Walk into it!